Sent To Me By Ebury Press In Exchange For An Honest Review
31.05.2018 / Ebury Press / Non Fiction / Paperback / 352pp / 978-0091919092
Target Audience: Those who enjoy psychological and sociological views on human interaction (in this case rudeness) and want to make the world a much less inconsiderate place.
About F*** You Very Much
You’re not imagining it. People are getting ruder. And this is a serious problem.
Did you know that even one rude comment in a life and death situation can decrease a surgeon’s performance by as much as 50%? That we say we don’t want rude politicians, but we vote for them anyway? Or that rude language can sway a jury in a criminal case?
Bestselling writer and broadcaster Danny Wallace (Yes Man, Awkward Situations For Men), is on a mission to understand where we have gone wrong. He travels the world interviewing neuroscientists, psychologists, NASA scientists, barristers, bin men, and bellboys. He joins a Radical Honesty group in Germany, talks to drivers about road rage in LA, and confronts his own online troll in a pub.
And in doing so, he uncovers the latest thinking about how we behave, how rudeness, once unleashed, can spread like a virus – and how even one flippant remark can snowball into disaster.
As insightful and enthralling as it is highly entertaining, F*** You Very Much* is an eye-opening exploration into the worst side of human behaviour.
“A cry for human decency… deliciously hilarious. I politely encourage you to read this book. Immediately.” Adam Grant author of Originals, Give and Take, Option B
*This book was originally published under the title, I Can’t Believe You Just Said That. But we decided it just wasn’t rude enough…
“I will be honest with you: I thought I had a pretty good handle on rudeness. What I wasn’t expecting to find was what a threat it poses to our happiness – and maybe even our continued existence on this planet. Its effects are potent, damaging and, scariest of all, contagious. In the coming pages, I’ll show you how rudeness affects the way our brains work, how it clouds our judgement and how it worsens our choices. We’ll see how experiencing it can make us less effective at our jobs, make us worse fathers and mothers, sons, daughters and friends. We’ll meet people who’ll show us how rudeness can stop us trusting, and make us barbed, suspicious and vicious. How those in power use it to keep us down.” Danny Wallace p4
F*** You Very Much is a startling and eye-opening expose on the fast-growing rudeness culture that creeped into our high speed and information saturated modern society. Danny Wallace has been very busy investigating The New Rudeness that plagues the very heart of our society and what serious consequences this path may have to ourselves, each other and to the following generations. This book was born after one particularly horrific interaction with someone DW refers to as Madam Hotdog. It is an intense and unjustified exchange and it left Wallace angry, hurt and confused. DW decided to journey through the canals of inconvenient truths, bad behaviour, thoughtless rage, international misconceptions or differences (very interesting!) and social media invincibility to give his readers a well rounded argument that rudeness is detrimental to our futures.
I thought F*** You Very Much was excellent. DW manages to be informative, relatable and engaging in his pursuit of the untold truth of rudeness. He puts people in his shoes and he walks in many others. He connects with those who have been on the receiving end of unnecessary nasty behaviour and talks about the times he has been subject to those moments, including the time he came face-to-face with a social media fiend who had threatened to punch him. Each account, discussion and investigation paints a vivid picture of the underlying unacceptable treatment that we have come to expect and even celebrate in many ways (TV and politics for example). Rudeness can ruin days, jobs and even lives; its potency can ignite our own rage or cause distraction or anxiety. DW started looking into rudeness and uncovered an abundance of it everywhere whether it be spontaneous or even pre-meditated. DW wants to break this cycle and get the world to take a step back, chill out and work to understand each other a little better.
F*** You Very Much highlights the short term and long term effects of rudeness on our minds and where its root causes lie. Bad language, insults, racism, sexism, condesention, judgement, attitude, brutal honesty and bubbling rage are explored from DW’s perspective as well as doctors, scientists and humanitarians among other people. Using data he collected in his very own Wallace Report (UK survey on rudeness) DW explores the pychological, sociological, political and personal ramafications of the obscene treatment we dish out to each other on a daily basis. I couldn’t believe how far reaching one episode of rudeness can spread and how many people it can effect. Danny Wallace is compelling because he is 100% invested in his cause. It also helps that he is a funny bloke who is completely honest and open about his experiences. FYVM will have you in stitches at times. It is rare to have a non fiction title that has the whole package but DW has done a great job.
Danny Wallace talks generally about the implications of rudeness as well as sharing his own moments and interviewing others about their experiences or perspectives on inconsiderate people. I really like the Case Studies that DW included at the end of each chapter. They are more like Case In Point pieces that perfectly highlight the point that he is trying to get across. My only real issue with FYVM is the lack of a solid format. Each chapter explores a different aspect of rudeness but it didn’t feel progressive as I read it which felt slightly disorientating. I also thought DW spoke too generally at times about certain elements of our tendency to be rude, though that is my own personal reaction.
I don’t think this book would have had the same impact from an impartial or neutral author as DW is emotionally fuelled and therefore searches all avenues of rude behaviour to discover where we are going wrong and how we might progress for the better in the coming decades. I wouldn’t consider myself a rude person (other than a bit of road rage but you trying driving in Norwich. I felt like DW in the fact that I usually bow under the pressure of others intensity (I usually take the kill them with kindness approach) but FYVM has really opened my eyes to how important it is to both challenge rudeness and also be more empathetic in my own reactions. F*** You Very Much is a must read for 2018 and I can’t recommend it enough for everyone because it is definitely one of those books that can widen our knowledge about the world we occupy and make days go a little smoother.
About Danny Wallace
Danny Wallace is a writer and television presenter, who wears glasses and used to have a cat. His first solo book, Join Me, was described as a ‘word-of-mouth phenomenon’ by The Bookseller and ‘one of the funniest stories you will ever read’ by the Daily Mail. His second book, Yes Man – in which he decided to say ‘Yes’ to everything has been made into a film starring Jim Carrey. It was described as ‘hilarious’ by more than four national newspapers, and Richard Madeley. Both books were Sunday Times bestsellers. Danny Wallace is PPA’s Columnist of the Year 2011. Find out more about Danny at http://www.dannywallace.com.